 |
|---|
Welcome to the home page of Darryl, Lydia Joy, Cassandra, Carl and Deirdre Burgdorf: "Our Own Personal 15 Megabytes of Fame!"
We're a rather typical family in "the heartland of America," save for the fact that we're in a mixed-orientation marriage, which is to say that while Joy's straight, Darryl is gay. You'll find here a lot of information about us, as well as notes on GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender) history and links to various GLBT resources.
About Us:
- Personal Notes: Just who the heck are we, anyway? Follow this link to find out! -- Updated - November 3, 2007
- Photo Gallery: Pictures. (Gee. Who would have guessed?) Not that we actually take all that many pictures.... -- Updated - November 3, 2007
- Darryl's Story: Darryl's account of just how he came to realize after 38 years that he's gay. (This was written in February of 2004.)
- Joy's Story: Joy's account of just why she's staying with him, now that he has. (This, also, was written in February of 2004.)
- Life in the Spotlight: A few months after we originally posted the above articles, New Jersey Governor James McGreevey came out publicly as a gay man with a wife, making the issue of mixed-orientation marriages suddenly "newsworthy." And so, we ended up in the news. -- Coming Soon!
- The OWH's Story: In August of 2004, we were the subjects of a feature article in The Omaha World-Herald. We've reprinted the article here, along with several letters that were published in response to it.
- Joy's Letter to Archbishop Curtiss: In November of 2005, Joy realized that the time had finally come for her to leave the Roman Catholic Church. It wasn't an easy decision. This is the letter she wrote to the Archbishop of Omaha, explaining why she had to do it.
Miscellaneous Stuff:
- Cassandra's Pages:Cassandra, our eldest daughter, is incredibly artistic, but also unwilling to display work she considers unfinished, which is to say most of her work. But she has deigned to allow us to publish a few things.
- Poetry Samples: Here, you'll find a collection of some of her poems. -- Updated - May 28, 2007
- Dragon Poem: This is a special "free form" poem she wrote at the beginning of the school year. -- New - October 3, 2007
- Fledgling: This is one of her short stories. Though she tends to prefer longer work, we've been encouraging her to do more short pieces, both because she's good, and because it will help with her discipline as a writer and self-editor. We were particularly impressed with this one. -- New - September 4, 2007
- The Death of a King: The single remaining "Literary Link" from the early days of our Web site, this is the ballad Darryl wrote on the occasion of the death of Joy's father in 1991.
- Darryl's Civilization III Mods: Darryl, Joy and Carl all enjoy (or at least, have in the past enjoyed) playing Sid Meier's excellent Civilization computer games. Darryl hasn't done any "modding" for Civ IV yet, but he created a few Civ III mods. Here they are.
- Darryl's EverQuest 2 Mods: Darryl's also done some modding for EQ2, which all five of us play, under the name of one of his characters in the game, "Milquetowst."
Contact Information:
- Guest Book: Read what other visitors have had to say, or leave your own comments! -- Updated - April 10, 2007
- E-Mail: You can, of course, contact us by e-mail, if you don't want to leave a public message. Darryl can be reached at burgdorf@cox.net, and Joy at designsofjoy@yahoo.com.
GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) Links:
- GLBT Terminology: Definitions of some terms and acronyms with which you might not already be familiar.
- An Overview of GLBT History: As a "little project" for GLBT History Month (October 2005), Darryl decided to start putting together a basic timeline. But like so many of his projects, it grew, and grew, and grew, and is still growing.... -- Updated - August 3, 2006
- A Brief Overview of GLBT History: A condensed version of the document, in PDF format for easy printing and distribution.
- A Stand Against Intolerance: The Stonewall Riots and Their Influence: For the 2006 National History Day competition, Cassandra wrote this paper on the riots that sparked the GLBT civil rights movement. She won third place in the Junior Historical Paper category of the Omaha district competition on March 11, but unfortunately didn't place well enough at the state level to allow her to move on to the national competition.
- Selected National Resources:
- COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere)
- Family Pride Coalition
- GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation)
- GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network)
- HRC (Human Rights Campaign)
- Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund
- MCC (Metropolitan Community Churches)
- PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)
- Straight Spouse Network
- Selected Online Resources:
- Selected Omaha-Area Resources:
Queer as Which Folk?
Many of the greatest leaders, innovators, thinkers and artists in human history -- as well as millions of perfectly ordinary folk -- have been "queer." Wikipedia maintains a very comprehensive and regularly-updated index of famous (and some not-so-famous) GLBT individuals, both historical and contemporary. Check it out. You might be surprised by who you find on the list!
RANDOM THOUGHTS OF THE MOMENT:
Don't wait for your ship to come in. Swim out to it.
Our speech is a mirror of our mind. What is your mirror reflecting to others?
"He's a gross ignoramus: 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
(The above inspirational and/or humorous thoughts were selected randomly.
Reload this page to see a different set.)
WE SUPPORT MARRIAGE EQUALITY
Yes, we support the right of all Americans to marry whomever they love, regardless of their genders or sexual orientations.
Those who oppose gay marriage generally do so for two reasons. They object to it on religious grounds, and they feel it violates the "traditional" role of marriage in society. But neither point is really of any consequence to the debate.
Despite the religious trappings with which many adorn it, marriage is at its core a civil, not a religious, institution. And in any event, no one is proposing that churches which don't approve of them should be forced to marry gay or lesbian couples, any more than churches which still disapprove of mixed-race couples are forced to marry them. So arguments opposing gay marriage on religious grounds are irrelevant.
As well, marriage today has little to do with marriage as it's been traditionally defined throughout most of human history. There is nothing traditional about the idea of two people chosing to marry because they love each other. So unless one is interested in "turning back the clock" to make women mere property and to make marriages primarily economic or financial arrangements between families, arguments opposing gay marriage on the grounds that it violates tradition are just empty verbiage.
Those who support the idea of allowing civil unions but not marriages for same-sex couples may be on the right track, but unfortunately, their position is ultimately no more tenable than that of those who oppose gay marriage completely.
The concept of "separate but equal" was rejected by the U.S. Supreme Court over 50 years ago, since it invariably emphasizes "separate" and downplays "equal." Allowing civil unions but not marriages for same-sex couples would no more be fair to gays and lesbians than forced segregation of schools was fair to African-American children. The simple truth is that civil unions provide only a small handful of the legal and economic benefits, protections and responsibilities provided by marriage.
Much has been said by those who oppose gay marriages about how allowing them would somehow harm the institution of marriage itself. But no logic or evidence has ever been provided to back up the claim, and it seems unlikely that any damage could be done to the institution just by allowing a few more loving couples to share it. Indeed, it seems more likely that allowing everyone the same opportunity to marry the person of their choosing could actually strengthen the institution, by reducing or even eliminating the perceived need to marry "properly." Many gays and lesbians marry a person of the opposite gender because that's what they're "supposed" to do; those marriages almost inevitably end in heartache and divorce.
When the rhetoric is stripped away and the facts are analyzed, the only real reason for opposing legalization of gay marriage is prejudice, pure and simple. And that's not something we believe the government should be perpetuating.
-- Darryl C. & Lydia Joy Burgdorf