Samples of Cassandra Burgdorf's Poetry Calling of the Sea (12/7/06) I feel the spray against my face, See the dolphins; the ship they race, And after one another chase. I hear the calling of the sea: Come in, come in, come swim with me. There is no difference, night or day, Ev'ry hour the sky is gray, Till sun breaks through, with golden ray. I feel the beck'ning of the sea: Come see how loving I can be. I run so quickly, just to come, There's always something to be done, Before should come the setting sun. I know the longing for the sea: Come to me and you'll be free. Hoist the sail and steer the ship! Never once can you 'fford to trip, Else the fling of captain's whip. I see the beauty of the sea: Come; for ventures, I'm the key. Rolling water, waves a-crashing, Spinning, tipping, ever-splashing, Looking for sunlight, barely flashing. I can't deny the pulling sea: I am her maid, her secrecy. Alas, I am for sure land-bound, Forever trapped upon the ground, Never to hear the waves resound. I cannot come to you, dear sea, From this place I cannot flee, Alas, you are only mem'ry.   Dearest (4/18/07) Dear lover, sweet lover, hear as I say, I would like tell you, you have my heart at bay. You tell me it can never be, You tell me, love is not your destiny, You tell me just to leave it be. But I would like to tell you, that nothing I do can take you out of my mind. So during our next encounter, must you be so unkind? In the depths of your eyes is the spirit I love, In your laughter and tears is the warmth I crave. I know you feel this too, so why must you deny? Please hear me as I cry out, but don't ask me to behave.   Death of the Dragon (Autumn 2005) And in the lonely hour She looked upon the fallen comrade Her face tear-stricken Her eyes swollen and sad A beast of magnificent beauty Wings stretched out long Eyes grayed forever It would never again sing its song Once a strong creature Of power, love, and might Now stilled, dulled, put out No longer an encouraging sight She stood in the moonlight Gave a respectful pause And into the ground stuck her blade A marker, in-between its claws Others may see it As a sight of sacrifice, so noble But all she saw Was a loved face, forever immobile Soon she should leave All things had not reached their end But for a moment she did cry For the loss of a friend.   Depression (4/20/07) depression is a lurking parasite planning, stalking, pouncing, with undying aggression waiting in the deepest corners, where there is no light lost in despair because it can do nothing but kill in obsession   Dieing I can't escape, I'm running, fleeing What is this? I've nigh stopped seeing Death is there, it's catching up now I keep running, I don't know how The cold has touched me, I am sure And for this thing there is no cure So why is it that I still stand When others never found the land Why am I still fighting this And remembering your last warm kiss Before I was plunged into the dark And forever tainted with death's cruel mark I cannot let the mem'ries go They're all that in this world I know My last grip on precious life As in this place there's not but strife In my mind's eye I see you all Crying, trying to my death stall You don't know the way I do From here there's no way back to you I'm trapped, I'm running, I'm almost gone And in my path the new worlds dawn Worlds of sadness, suff'ring and grief Drifting before me like an autumn leaf And neither can I turn away For close behind me death does stay To think that this I had wanted And now by death I am hunted I didn't think it would be this way With blackened blood, and life's price to pay Now I know that death is cold There is no room for brave or bold All that you can do is run And wait until your time is done Run, sprinting, ever-fearing Of that blackness, ever-nearing When it comes, you don't want to die But you don't even have the strength to cry You know for sure: you're stuck, you're lost Already paying life's infinite cost There's no way out, there's no way back As of myself I'm losing track I wish I could see you again And let you know of all the pain Say I'm sorry for all those things And tell you just how sorrow stings But from this place I cannot leave And my message you'll not receive Because for me this is the end I've passed the corner of my life's last bend Death has got its grip on me Down I fall, and nothing see At last, at last! My grief is done Fading with the setting sun   Dragon (12/21/06) The grace of a butterfly, The cunning of a cat, The speed of a wild wolf, The quiet of a bat; Powerful like a soaring hawk, Wise like an owl, Intelligent as the dolphin, Kind as newborn fowl, Is a creature with many names, A creature unknown to man, A creature unimaginable, It is a dragon. It glides upon the night sky, Blanketed by stars, And the clouds drifting all around Are the darkness's small scars. Higher than mountains it will fly, With abundant grace, And many say that it, And the stars will race, Speeding through the skies, The wind at their command, Though all this only happens In my own dream land.   Drown Me In Darkness (1/17/07) Drown me in my own blood -- I shall rise again. With dark power that imbues my being I'll show you all my pain. Let me rule the land once more, Gracefully I'll take it. With mirth spilling from my lips, I'd happily just break it: I'd imagine it's the man I lost, The man who had betrayed me, That I crush between my fingers, Though I know this shall not aid me As I try and try to hunt him down, So I can extract revenge. Oh, what I wouldn't give To my own lost soul avenge. Until that time my darkness reigns, Searching every nook For the man who back-stabbed me; I shall find that crook. None can hide from my raw power, I'll ravage the land in my hunt. Let me spill the blood of innocents Should they think to defy me what I want. He did things I shan't ever forget. In my rage the darkness overcame me. With what some would call evil, I plan For the day when that traitor I shall again see -- I know he still wanders this world, The magic that traps me keeps him as well: A magic I cast long ago, to be sure That the pleasure of his death would be mine to tell. I'll kill him the same way he killed me: Ruthlessly with the ancient knife. I'll drown him in his own blood To personally end his life. Only then will I be free From this cursed darkness, And perhaps in final death I'll know Just how strong was our likeness. Drown me in my own blood; I shall rise again. A dark spirit, a blackened soul -- I'll still show you my pain.   A Faerie By Moonlight (8/25/06) Cedars and elms surrounded me, Moonlight reached through the canopy, Leaving splotches of light on the ground. A forest hid its secrets here, Its mysteries, strength and fear, Among the thriving life all 'round. I walked through blissfully, Not noticing the animals, watching warily, As I traipsed through their homes. Not noticing the plants of colors bright, Greens and golds, shining with light, Moss covered logs stacked like old tomes. Tonight, of the full moon, I felt the tingling of magic soon, From all 'round, in trees and in bright eyes that stare. From the deepest shadows he came, A stranger in all but name, A glow in his eyes, like a fire's flare. I knew what he was, I'd heard enough, Of the Folk, the Fae, the legend'ry stuff, But to see him is just so unreal. To see what should be fantasy, Imagination, real only in ecstasy, Gives a feeling of wonder; it is ideal. His hair, like the moon, is shining pale white, His skin the brown of the trees, an entrancing sight, His eyes shining, golden and bright, He wears what I'd call mysterious: For he's shrouded in a cloak so sinuous That I can barely make out his form in this dim light. His most dominant feature, I'd say, Is none of these, it is the way, Tall, pointed ears show through his braided hair. He sits atop a high tree limb, Nimbly crouched, in the shadows, dim, And yet I still see him, though I'm sure he's aware. He looks and gives me the slightest smile, He never says anything, all the while, Just gives a look that says all I need to know. The feeling of magic runs through me again, A feeling I surely shouldn't know, but then, To me it's always been a familiar flow. Around us I can see others of the Fae, Dancing and shimmering, here they play, This forest, this ancient magic abundant. Their kind I could never understand, The mysteries hidden, the magic grand, The legends they've made, so elegant. But my thoughts are all on him, His expression, never sour, never grim, The way he speaks without using words. I know I shan't see him again from now, At least not till the full moon, anyhow, Their kind haven't time for mortals, not they, the lords. Before I can think to say a thing, He's gone, as are all the creatures of spring, The creatures of twilight and moonlight. The magic in the air still lingers, And in this pale light a wind stirs, And as the sun rises, there's not a single sprite.   Fallen (1/30/07) i'm in the dark i'm lost i'm falling faster faster my fears denied me life pushed me away now i'm trapped can't go back there is nothing nothing in the world but this terror this pain this darkness i tried to run my fears kept coming i tried to fight but they won and now i'm falling deeper deeper   Fireflies (7/27/06) Firefly, fireflies, shine me your light. Breezes blowing 'round the tree leaves, Sky's turned purple from the sunset, As I look I'm thinking, I should've brought, A soul that's been better kept. Stars glowing bright in the sky, The crickets singing their song, Without the mem'ries alive, the path I walk is lonely, But the fireflies lead me on. Firefly, fireflies, shine me your light. Plants of bright green, shining with dew, The full moon glows oh so brightly, My adventurous days are over, And the emptiness comes to me nightly. The hours pass unaccounted for, In darkness, the crickets' song is done, The path that I tread has been lonely so long, And only the fireflies lead me on. Firefly, fireflies, show me what little light there is.   Free Spirits (1/8/07) You are a bird on the breeze; Let me watch as you soar, Let me feel the wind on my face And know that freedom once more. Once, a time so long ago, I was strong, alive, Now there's one thing that I know: Into darkness did I dive, Making choices that would show How young, how naive I'd been, Falling, thrashing, down below, To a place of loss so genuine. You are a bird in the air; Let me watch as you soar, Let me try to break free And then fly just once more. Once, as are you, I was free, But then everything shifted. Only darkness could I see, And from content I was lifted Into a pain-filled destiny That cruelly ended my reign: Never could I be A free spirit once again. You are a bird in the sky; Let me watch as you soar, Let me imagine the past For now I fly no more.   I am the Serpent (4/19/07) I am a serpent, Green as a leaf. I slither in depression, And I know the choke of grief. I can stand tall when I am hated. I can crawl unnoticed when my anger is sated. I am a serpent, Beware of my bite, Though believe it or not, I too can feel fright. I am the loathsome, the vile and dark, Because a sin I can't remember has left its mark. I am the serpent.   Losses of War (2/15/07) There were eight of us. Now there are seven. I wait for the eighth To come back from heaven, While all around me Six pack their things; They're on their way home, Where every bird sings With a small joyous chirp That I cannot hear. The caw of the crows Is all that touches my ear. Those birds tore her apart To feast on the rest, While we were in desperate retreat And she was the bravest. She every blow, Every bullet they fired, As we were all just running Despite that we were tired. She was already gone Before she hit the ground, Though the night air Her scream echoed 'round, And I could nothing But hold back the tears, And just keep on running, To escape all the fears. Now she is gone. I just cannot take it. I wonder if she thought Of my heart, how she'd break it. They want me to go home. Home? There isn't one. I'll stay here with her Till I, too, am done, For there's nothing but war, The screams and the pain. There's nothing for me But to battle again.   Mirrors (9/29/05) Could ever the reflection in a mirror be what has really become of me? With the magic that lurks behind tears, that I've seemed to know was there, through the years, tinting me beyond recognition, and forcing my being into submission. The jagged cracks on a mirror's glass, would never stop showing what came last; the angered scream and the blood on my fingers, for they'd never told me just how power lingers. I'm changing now, and the magic won't stop, and as shadows touch my eyes, I feel my heart drop. I don't want to change, for better or worse. They say magic's a gift, but I'd call it a curse. My spirit's trapped on a lonely path, with nothing left but my depression and wrath; lost in a forest of roses, all dieing, and silence engulfing of all but my crying.   Perseverance (1/10/07) I will not be brought down. You can taunt me all you like. I will not just drown In the dark humiliation, I will not ever frown For the feeling of hurt pride. I will not be brought down -- You can take many things from me, I will not come around. You can take everything I love, I still won't come 'round. I am my own man; You can take my life and its crown, But there's one thing you'll never have: My thoughts are still my own. No matter what you do, You cannot bring me down. You cannot have my ideas and opinions, In creativity I'll abound. I'll reach the peaks of life, Before you take me down.   The Poison Of Grief (5/24/07) The arms of grief reach out And you find yourself cradled in them You cry and cry, and it's like a refuge And you don't notice it condemn You It feeds on our sadness and depression It fools us in our weakness It comforts us like a mother Before throwing us to never-ending bleakness It is not the cold and hunger that kills us It is the grief For grief is a poison That strengthens the belief That there is no hope And hope is the only cure It is the only that thing that can help Before the grief can allure You   Rather Be Dead (4/20/07) I've learned how to screech. I've learned how to cry. I've learned how to hold it in When I have to say "for ever, goodbye." I've learned never to give in. I've learned not to let death take me. And though it every time does hurt, I've learned not to let it break me. I've learned to be emotionless When I feel a crawling tear. I've learned that I'd much rather be dead Than every one of your screams hear.   Regrets (12/26/06) So many sighs -- to the skies they rise. A drifting leaf, a crow's caw; now I'm alone, but you never saw. you never cared: of me you forgot, when it was only love that I had sought. A rising sigh like birds will fly, forever high. Where am I; what's left of me? Everything you did, you did permanently. Now thanks to you I'm lost, stranded; don't know what I am, but abandoned. So many sighs -- each one tries; one dies.   Season Change There's a chill in the wind That blows back my hair, As I huddle for warmth, Beneath the night's stare. So deceptively Does each star shine, As I gaze up for comfort, In this world unkind. Now the winds strengthen And bring crystals of ice; And I hide from the result Of the throw of life's dice. In snow I am trapped Beneath a blanket of white; I'll never be remembered Past this cruel night. A warmth on my cheek, From the sun's kind rays, Awakens me from death, And shows me the ways That life is reborn With the beginning of spring; All that's remade With joy does sing. With the end of winter Comes a choice: Not to live, Or to in life rejoice.   Shadows Rising (12/8/06) Shadows fall, shadows rise, As off, away now, each dove flies, Running, fleeing from such power That you may fall within the hour, And never again see such bright skies. Shadows coming, all arise, From the deeply blackened skies; There's nowhere left to turn, and yet, You find you can't give in; you fret That all that's left to hear are painful cries. None can stop the shadows' rise; You hear nothing but the cries Of those who are already lost, Paying life's infinite cost; Sooner or later, everyone dies.   Shameful Tears (4/20/07) My shadow wears The emotions I hide The anger and resentment That within me abide My shadow is a drawer That I've kept locked for years Because it keeps the things I'm ashamed of All the millions of tears   Sight (1/2/07) When I call something beautiful, You say it's downright ugly. When you call something a masterpiece, I say it's a monstrosity. And yet, When what we see Is through the eyes of our hearts... We agree completely.   The Silent Library (4/5/07) Silence. Not a sound, In this quietest of places, And peace Is not unfound In this most serene of spaces, Where shelves upon shelves Are stacked high with volumes Of fantasy and science, people and places, And stories of laughter and gloom. This place is a refuge, Separate from the world, Where I find happiness in tales Of adventure uncurled. Can you not guess? It's simple to see That where I rest now Is a library. Silence Surrounding, As I read this novel Of good And evil bounding With power and strong will. As the hero nears His adversary, Wielding a sword And the magic of faerie, My eyes are riveted On the page, Seeing in my mind How he speaks with the evil mage. And the battle begins With a clash of magic and blade. I watch as they fight, Each without aid. A spark, So faint, I hear in the distance, And another To taint The air with its hindrance. What I see becomes clearer As the story continues; It all seems so real As they battle, and loss refuse. Gradually I realize That there was a change; A transformation took place -- Something quite strange. What I had imagined Now is reality; Rather than text on a page, The battle is what I truly see. A scream. I look round, Still startled at what I realized, And see The hero down -- Wounded by the enemy, despised. In amazement I watch As they begin to tire, Yet both keep on fighting, With parries and attacks, powered by ire. They're evenly matched, there's no outright victor, Though one tries trickery when the other is true. They just keep on going, until one slips, And the other takes advantage with fervor anew. Treachery rings throughout the air; The power of magic is singing about. And a flash; and I don't know exactly what occurred, But my thoughts are racing just to find out. Silence. I blink. I'm back in the library, And the story, I think, Has yet to continue without me. Once again I hold the book, Staring at simple text, Desperately wanting to read more, But unsure what to do next. I look up, and see a woman, Who gives me a wink and a smile. The librarian -- she knew What I'd been experiencing all the while. "Would you like to check that out?" she asks. Stunned, I nod, knowing only one thing: Whatever just happened, I should take this and many books home, And in solitude finish reading. Silence. Not a sound, In this simplest of places, And adventure Is not unfound In this most magical of spaces.   Sorry (3/13/07) I'm sorry I tried But still You died Now I cry       for all       the years And as you die       I feel       the tears Burn behind My own eyes As I let loose kind But grief-filled sighs You I cherished And yet You still perished You I miss       your laugh       your soul My heart is       an emp-       -ty hole And it just may In two break If you can't say "I'm awake" I'm sorry I tried Yet still You died   So Slightly (Autumn 2005) Ever so slightly does a wind blow the treetops; Just so slightly as a hare in tall grass would bound. Ever so slightly does a shadow change direction; Just so slightly as a leaf would touch the ground. Ever so slightly does the dark mist fade away; Just so slightly as an echo would once resound. Ever so slightly can the footsteps be heard, When destiny turns around.   Twin Slaves (1/10/07) Slaves two sisters did become, Separated early on, One to a man, strict and fair, One to a man who couldn't care. Only eleven had they been, Each to the other her own twin. For years they worked, One determined, one depressed, Their ears always perked, For news of the other's stress. Six years did this go on, Till one her master's loyalty won, A just, fair man, he chose That that one's status rose To a working, paid servant -- Her joy was abundant. She searched the records and the town For her only sister; She searched desperately, all 'round, For she dearly missed her. Then finally her ventures led To the door of the man who said That he would take her sibling -- T'was there their slavery took wing. With eagerness she rang the bell, And to the maid she did tell Of her family's story, And that she searched for her twin. But all the maid could say was, "I'm sorry, But recently she was a hin- "-Der to the master, and one night, When she was trying 'scape our plight, He came home drunk, and saw her there, And his gun was out, in a flare, And he shot her down -- she tried to run, But it seemed her time had come. And she screamed of a promise broken To find the sister she had known, And tell her of a strange omen She'd felt once here she'd grown." To the maid she nodded glumly, And with tear-filled eyes she did flee, And went back to work, promising Herself that if there was one thing That she would ever manage to do It'd be that revenge would be hers, true. She'd save up over the years, And she would find that man, Remembering unshed tears, Vengeance would be hers then. It was many more years of servitude Before his house she could intrude. Wielding a steak knife and planning to kill, With not a dent on her own strong will, She crept to his bed and raised the knife, When suddenly, he ended her life. A lightning quick motion revealed his own blade -- He'd been expecting such treachery -- And though he smirked and laughed as her life did fade, She was happy -- she knew soon her sister she'd see.   Unbound (1/18/07) Limits are set so you can cross 'em Rules are made so you can break 'em Problems are there for you to face 'em Opportunities are there for you to take 'em You're a free man Don't let them fool you Follow your dreams And begin life anew Cross every bound'ry Make your own way Break through the dead ends And never "I give up" say Take a deep breath Make goals of your own Use what you can And make yourself known   Yin Yang (Spring 2005) A magic in the air, Opposing forces everywhere, Good and evil, Night and day, Earth and sky, Water and fire, A never ending battle, The most powerful of all, The forces capable of anything, Life and death, that ain't all, A control over everything, Physical and mental, They have the power, They know everything, Except how to win.   Some Various Random Haiku beauty that's helpless, power that's invisible, looks always deceive butterflies' beauty, delicate wings, torn eas'ly, a flight above fate crows cry, leaves drift down, shadows from the sunset, 'round, autumn spirits hide delicate, yet strong, fragile, yet always trying never to give in grace unfolding, seek honor, and believe, to find truth understanding never search, wander, never explore, never look, is to be lifeless search! a dragon's grace, answers all, dragon's wisdom, fear, dragon's power search, seek, always life, myst'ries around us always, not to be found out sea shells difference, each is unique, each is special, and all beautiful single shaft of light, the impossible happens when no one seeks it the unknown, unheard, 'tis incomprehensible, 'tis unthinkable unnoticed prevail, triumph to those who deserve. power's a weakness